Stop Having A Boring Tuna, Stop Having A Boring Life
Okay, let’s talk about canned tuna. It’s easy, it’s cheap, it’s pretty tasty and it’s full of things that are pretty good for you. But, it’s kind of boring a lot of the time. Let’s fix that.
First off, let’s talk about the tuna itself. Canned tuna varies in quality greatly. You’ve got your standard Bumblebee and Chicken of the Sea shit, but that’s the McDonalds of the canned tuna world. You should be able to find stuff like Dave’s Albacore at your local Whole Foods and that’s definitely better. Hell, even the oil-packed Bumblebee is better than that waterlogged crap. But if you want to jump directly to the best fucking canned tuna available, look no further than Ortiz Bonito del Norte. This shit is amazing. Don’t even bother with anything else. And I don’t just say that because I happen to share the surname. Find some, eat it, you will never look back.
With that said, now let’s talk about tuna salad and related matters. You’re gonna need some kind of oil and you’re gonna need some kind of acid. This is the essence of any dressing. Olive oil is great, lemon or lime juice is also fantastic. A good balsamic vinegar is also quite tasty. Balsamic vinegar is yet another thing I can go on about for hours, but I’ll save that for later. If you’re itching for a dressing that’s a little creamier, just put a raw egg yolk in. It sounds scary, but it won’t kill you. Call it an aioli if it makes you feel better.
Next, you’re gonna want some vegetables up in that bitch. I like pimentos asados when I can get them. That’s Spanish roasted red peppers for all you gringos. You can get them canned and packed in oil. They’re fucking delicious. A little bit of minced shallots and/or celery provides a perfect crunch. Sometimes I just use some chopped pickles, tomatoes, even carrots. Go nuts.
Last but certainly not least, you’ll want some spices and maybe a little grated cheese. I really like a little basil, fresh if I can get it, and maybe a dash of cayenne, paprika and ground dehydrated garlic. It’s really up to you. Oregano is nice if you’re feeling saucy. Cheese-wise I like Romano, Parmesan or aged Manchego. You’re looking for a hard dry-aged cheese here. Salt and pepper is of course always called for, season it up as you like it.
And there you have it, make some toast, spread it on some crackers. It’s an excellent meal or snack.