Spam Musubi

Yeah, you heard me. SPAM. Normally I don’t fuck with canned meat products, but this is a special case, and I’ll go into why after I lay out this recipe.You’re going to need 1 can of spam, some good teriyaki sauce (or make your own), some sushi rice (about 3/4 cup uncooked), and optionally, some furikake of your choice.First, free the SPAM from it’s coffin, and give it a light rinse under cold water to get that disgusting aspic off of it. Next, slice it into slices about 1/4″ thick – you should get about 6-8 from a single can. Place into a piece of tupperware, then cover with teriyaki and marinade overnight.The next morning, make your sushi rice but don’t use vinegar, though – use salt instead). Take the marinated spam out of it’s teriyaki bath and fry it in a non-greased pan until it’s browned a bit. Reduce the heat to very low, add the teriyaki sauce to the pan, and let that simmer for 20 minutes or so.Take your sushi rice and form it into compressed patties about the same size as your SPAM slices, but a little thicker in height. Place a SPAM slice onto each patty, and wrap with a wide strip of nori. If you’d like, sprinkle some furikake onto the rice before you add the patty. Wrap each up in plastic wrap individually. Serve at room temperature.Now, you’re probably wondering “what the fuck, b? SPAM?” and I’ll explain. The salty SPAM mingles with the sweet & savory flavor of the teriyaki, and you’ve got a lot of nori covering those bits of rice and meat – and if you’re paying attention, you know that’s some japanese Umami flavor we’re talking about. Anyway, it’s an amazingly easy, delicious, and portable lunch snack – perfect for air travel or hiking or work, since the rice is filling, the seaweed is nutritious, and the marinated & fried SPAM adds some complexity. Best of all – no refrigeration required! They’ll be awesome for about a day, and slightly less awesome the next day (but still very edible).I know it sounds crazy, but these things are all over hawaii. Apparently in the middle of the Pacific, SPAM is a local favorite of everyone. 

Smoked Pheasant and Cauliflower and Beets Mornay

So, my son was born a week ago, and after a long stay in the hospital and not having anything really tasty for dinner in some time, I decided to whip up something nice for a change.

Smoked Pheasant

This one’s fairly easy. I just defrosted a pheasant, removed the gizzards, applied sea salt, fresh-cracked pepper and a few tablespoons of olive oil to the outside of the bird and stuffed it with fresh sage leaves. Then I threw it on the upper rack of my barbecue grill and smoked it at a medium temperature with some hickory chips.

Cooking time: approx 1 hour 15 min

Cauliflower and Beets Mornay

First, roast the beets in an oven about 350F for about 45 min. I used golden beets in this instance. Steam the cauliflower until just tender. The sauce is a Mornay sauce, but with some adaptations. Okay, a little explanation is in order. What’s a Mornay sauce, you may ask? Simple. It’s a Béchamel sauce with grated cheese. But wait! What’s a Béchamel sauce? It’s not too hard. Create a roux by combining equal parts wheat flour and fat (typically, clarified butter) in a skillet and whisk them together over medium-low heat. For Béchamel, we want a white roux, which means you don’t want to allow the roux to brown, just give it a couple minutes to heat thoroughly and then start whisking milk in gradually until it’s the desired consistency– you want it to be a thin soup-like consistency before adding the cheese. Traditionally, equal parts Parmesian and Gruyère are used. Okay, so on to my changes: substitute duck fat for the butter and Romano and aged Manchego for the Parmesian and Gruyère. Add salt and pepper to taste, dash of dried basil. Once the sauce is done, peel and chop the beets, add them and the cauliflower to the sauce. Simmer for about ten minutes, serve.

I served all this with a mixed greens salad, for which I’ll share my favorite dressing recipe:

Equal parts olive oil, balsamic vinegar. Dash onion powder, dry mustard, ground ginger, garlic salt.

Strange, different, interesting?

Next time you make mashed potatoes put a rudabaga in there too. Comes out slightly sweet and is a nice way to switch up the starch side dish of champions.

Creme Brulee (custard, mother fucker…do you speak it?!)

It would be creme brulee, but I don’t have a torch and I’ve given up trying to use the broiler…so it’s just good vanilla custard.

2 egg yolks
1 egg
6 tbsp sugar
1.5 cups cream
1 tsp vanilla extract

Combine the eggs and sugar in a bowl and wisk until it thickens (ribbons, if you know what that means)

Combine the cream and vanilla in a small sauce pan and heat until just about to boil, stirring constantly. Then remove the heat and let it cool slightly.

Slowly pour the cream into the egg mixture, stirring constantly. Fold until just combined.

Laddle the mixture into individual ramikens, and place them into a shallow baking dish. Put the dish in the oven and add water around the ramikens until it reaches 1/2 to 3/4 up the sides.

Bake at 300 for 40-50 minutes or until set. (it should still jiggle a little bit, but will be noticably stiffer. This part requires some experience, but one or two goes and you’ll get it down. Don’t over cook it or the egg will separate and you’re left with shit in a ramiken.)

Take it out of the oven when done, and let it cool in the water bath for a good hour or so, then put it in the fridge to chill.

If you want to brulee it, take it out when it’s well chilled and sprinkle some sugar on top. Apply heat.

Enjoy.

Pasta Cacio e Pepe

So I’ve been watching my food budget, noticing that I eat out WAY too often, and have resolved (LOLNYE) to cook more food at home, preferably on the cheap.

To that end, I present for your consideration Pasta Cacio e Pepe (Pasta with Cheese and Pepper). The quality of this dish is entirely based on the quality of your cheese and pasta, so I’d recommend not skimping on either of these.

  • 6 ounces penne or bucatini
  • 1/3 cup (packed) freshly grated Pecorino Romano cheese (about 1 ounce)
  • Freshly ground black pepper

Fill large serving bowl with hot water to heat bowl; let stand while cooking pasta. Cook pasta in large pot of boiling salted water until just tender but still firm to bite, stirring occasionally. Drain pasta, reserving 1/2 cup pasta cooking liquid. Pour out hot water from serving bowl. Immediately add drained pasta to serving bowl, then begin stirring in the cheese, pepper, and reserved liquid and toss to coat. You’re aiming for a creamy-looking sauce. If it’s looking dry, add more of the reserved pasta cooking liquid by tablespoonfuls. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper and serve.

Badass Jalepeno Cheese Corn Bread

Jalepeno Cheese Corn Bread

  • Vegetable oil for the pan
  • 1 cup yellow cornmeal
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 3 to 4 tablespoons sugar, optional
  • Dash ground chipotle chile pepper or cayenne pepper
  • 1/4 cup fresh finely chopped jalapeno pepper
  • 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Mexican blend of cheeses, Cheddar Jack, or sharp Cheddar cheese
  • 1 cup frozen corn kernels, optional
  • 8 ounces sour cream
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 1 large egg, beaten
  • 4 tablespoons melted butter

Preparation:

Coat a heavy 10-inch skillet or 9-inch square baking pan with vegetable oil and set aside. Heat oven to 400°. In a large bowl, combine the cornmeal, flour, baking powder, soda, salt, sugar, chipotle or cayenne pepper, chopped jalapeno peppers, cheese, and corn kernels.

Heat the skillet or pan in the oven or on the stovetop.

Whisk together the sour cream, milk, egg, and melted butter. Stir the wet mixture into the dry ingredients. Spread in the hot greased skillet or baking pan.

Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until set and lightly browned around the edges. Cool in the pan on a rack; cut into squares or wedges.

Flounder with Leeks and Cream

I don’t think I’d had flounder prior to this, but I definitely plan on eating more. It was very good.

Simple enough recipe

4 fillets of white fish (I chose flounder, obviously)
butter
some cream
a leek or two (chopped)
water
flour
salt/pepper to taste

Melt about 2 tablespoons of butter in a pan and add the chopped leek, 1/3 cup water and salt/pepper, cover and simmer until the leek is tender ~10 mins. Add 1/4 – 1/2 cup cream (or sour cream), flour, and 1/3 cup water and stir. Salt/pepper the fish and place it on top of sauteed leek, cover and let it cook until done.

Easy as that. The leek really adds an excellent light onion flavor to the fish. I highly recommend this.

Brisket with Bacon & Coffee/Beer Mop Sauce

http://baconshow.blogspot.com/2007/06/757-smoked-brisket-and-bacon-with.html

1 lb. sliced bacon, preferably artisanal (optional)
1 (6- to 8-lb.) piece center cut brisket

For the rub:
1/4 cup kosher salt
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cup sweet paprika
2 tbsp. black pepper
1 tbsp. garlic powder

For the Coffee Beer Mop Sauce:
1 cup beer
1 cup apple cider
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup coffee
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
salt
4 to 6 cups hickory or apple chips or wood chunks, soaked in water to cover for one hour, then drained and an aluminum foil pan

Make the rub. Place the salt, brown sugar, paprika, pepper and garlic powder in a bowl and stir to mix. Place the brisket in a roasting pan and generously sprinkle both sides with rub, about three tablespoons per side. The excess rub will keep for several months in a jar. You can cook the brisket right away, but it will be better if you let it cure with the rub for several hours, or even a day in the refrigerator.

Make the mop sauce. Combine the beer, cider, cider vinegar, coffee, oil, Worcestershire sauce and salt in a bowl and whisk to mix.

Set up your grill for indirect grilling. If using a gas grill, place wood chips in a smoker pouch. Run the grill on high until you see smoke, then reduce the heat to medium-low (300 degrees). If using a charcoal grill, preheat to medium-low. Just before putting the brisket on, toss 1/2 cup wood chips on each mound of coals.

Place the brisket on the grate in the center, over the drip pan, away from the heat. If using bacon, drape the slices over the top of the meat.

Indirect-grill the brisket until tender, five to six hours. If using a charcoal grill, add 12 fresh coals and 1/2 cup wood chips to each side every hour. (The total cooking time will depend on the size of the brisket and heat of the grill.) Generously baste or mop the meat on both sides with the Coffee Beer Mop Sauce once an hour for the first four hours.

Tightly wrap brisket in foil and continue cooking until very tender, one to two hours more.

Transfer the brisket to a cutting board and let rest for 10 minutes. Thinly slice across the grain, using an electric knife or sharp carving knife. Transfer the sliced meat to a platter.
Who’s with me on this?

Bitten

I know not everyone here subscribes to the Minimalist school of thought, but I thought I’d point it out anyway: Mark Bittman has a blog, and it’s pretty great.

Bourbon Chicken

So, last night I accidentally re-invented this recipe, then Googled it and found it’s pretty much a Chinese takeout standard. But this isn’t how you’ve had it at PF Chang’s. So forget what you think you know about bourbon chicken and free your mind, son.

You’re gonna need a chicken. I used some thigh quarters, but a whole roasting bird works or you could do this with wings and drumsticks or whatever. You might need to adjust the amount of marinade you make if you’re going to do up more than about a pound and a half of chicken.

Next, prepare the marinade:

  • 1/3 cup bourbon
  • 1/2 cup black strap molasses
  • 1/4 cup soy sauce
  • 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tsp paprika (smoked paprika if you can get it)
  • 1/4th tsp cayenne
  • 3 cloves garlic, crushed and minced

Marinate that shit for a good while, you can stick it in the fridge overnight, or if you roll like a gangsta you just take your ziplock freezer bag of frozen chicken limbs, fill it with marinade, make sure there’s no air in the bag and stick that in a sink full of warm water and let it defrost so you don’t lose any natural juices and it marinates quicker and with less liquid. About two hours later you are ready to rock and/or roll. Salt and pepper the skin of your chicken liberally, and by liberally I mean take that pepper mill and make it snow.

I smoked mine in my homemade backyard smoker, but you can puss out and just stick it in a casserole dish and oven roast it if you want- remember to add a bit of leftover marinade to your baking dish. You can baste it with a bit of butter mixed with molasses to get that skin to crisp up and help keep it moist. Refer to my previous post about roasting chicken for cooking times, or get smart and buy a nice digital instant-read thermometer.